Back at Camp
by Angel sai
Summary: Alistair confronts Surana about the events at Redcliff and the dear mage lets him know EXACTLY how she feels about it. updated


Author's Disclaimer: I do not own BIoware characters or Dragon Age Origins (sadly, or Isolde dying would most likely be a mandatory option)

Short Summery, a writing exercise turned into somewhat of a rant on Alistair's reaction when I when I sacrificed Lady Isolde during the Redcliff quest. I was irritated with the lack of dialogue options, but I really, wanted it to go somewhere along these lines...

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Surana had no desire to speak with Alistair. It had been hours since they had left the Village and Redcliff Castle for the long road. Several more hours since the party had set up camp for the night and most of the others had settled in for the night, all that while she had felt the tension rolling off him in waves. Alistair had hardly spoken a word since their small group had departed Redcliff castle, leaving Bann Teagan and the rest of the surviving folk to rebuild their home and mourn dead friends, family…and one willful Arlessa.

Surana had felt no compassion for Isolde almost from the moment they had met, but that had nothing to do with allowing the fool woman to die in place of her son. Even after everything that had been done in the boy's name to protect him, she could not deny a mother the chance to save her child.

So when her fellow Grey warden approached her with a clenched jaw and accusing look in his eyes, the elven mage sensed he had words for her. "Now that we're back at camp, I want to talk. About what happened at Redcliff." Coldly Surana took a deep breath and turned around to face her fellow Grey Warden. Alistair had never been exactly subtle with his opinions and by the look he was giving her, Surana knew there would be no tact with what he had to say to her now.

Trying to keep her voice even, she asked him what was on his mind. "You really need to ask?" Alistair's tone was sharp and his eyes were just as cutting. "You let Lady Isolde sacrifice herself! With Blood magic no less! How could you do that?"

The weight of his words struck her like a physical blow. Guilt that had been gnawing away at her turned to anger by the sheer audacity of the templar's accusation. "You're blaming me?" Surana's tone went hard "I didn't ask to be that woman's judge and jury! What do you want me to say Alistair, should I have chosen to let the little boy die instead? You recommended that course of action yourself! From what I've heard, slaying an abomination involves no blood magic, so if that's what you would have preferred, you made a severe error letting me make the choice."

Surana almost balked at the look of dark fury Alistair directed at her. For a second she remembered that look, on the face of so many Templar's, watching for a sign of corruption. Seeing that look on Alistair instantly reminded her that her dear comrade had nearly become a Templar himself. All those years of training had not faded away because he had joined the wardens. As easygoing as he was, the elven mage realized those lessons were still a part of his nature, they would compel Alistair to condemn any degree of malificarum no matter the circumstance. For the first time since they had meet, Surana felt a trace of animosity she could not deny grip her heart. The suddenness of the emotion was dizzying and Surana took a step back from the man.

Maybe Alistair didn't see the new mistrust in her eyes or maybe he simply didn't care. "Maybe you're right at that, I let you make the decision. Though I never thought you, of all people would chose that, of all things!…" Surana turned her head unwilling to look at him. " I am a mage so I should have known better, is that it?" It made Alistair pause, but not for more than an instant. "We could have gone to the circle of magi; we could have done…something! Anything that doesn't involve blood magic! This is the Arl's wife we're talking about here! What do you think he'll say when he finds out?"

"What do I _think? _Do you_ really _need to ask_?_" She turned to face him, eyes bright with anger. " You just spent the last two days exactly where I did Alistair, which part do you think the Arl will find the most horrific? Defending what was left of Redcliff from the possessed corpses of their own dead? Or that it was the misguided actions of his own _child_ that killed so many? Maybe it will be the malificar hired to poison him in the first place... maybe even better than discovering it was the self righteous actions of the Arless that lead to all of it happening to begin with! The same woman who despite knowing the cause of all the horror, had the gall to endanger Bann Teagan with a plea for help, after he spent _days_ defending Redcliff's people! But I'm sure The Arl will overlook the fact it was his wife's well-meaning deception that brought disaster and tragedy to every soul in the Village because until that point it kept Conner's magical talent tucked away like an unwanted summersday gift! I think the Arl will find it absolutely intolerable that instead of running his only child through with Templar steel, I let Lady Isolde talk us all into the ritual to save their son. An unforgivable lapse in my judgment! Next time I'll be sure to decline any mother the right to sacrifice herself for her child IF THE ONLY OPTION IS BLOOD MAGIC."

Surana spat out the words in an incoherent stream of bitterness, nearly shaking. Alistair was staring at her in disbelief, the look in his eyes had gone from righteous fury to pained confusion. But she refused to take any of it back. She wanted something to hit. She wanted to scream. Even cry. Instead she covered her eyes with one hand and took several deep shuddering breaths, pushing back the foul thoughts raging in her mind. When she trusted her voice to be civil she spoke." I'm sorry things happened the way they did Alistair." she said softly, " But I did everything in my power to save what could be saved."

"I... you're right. I know you're right." Alistair sighed harshly. Surana's words had completely taken the steam out of him. " I just wanted to try... if there was any chance of another way...Surana, I'm sorry. Maker's breath, I'm such an ass." Surana felt tempted to agree, but compassion won out for her friend. " I understand why you did. _Maybe_ we could have gone to the circle for help and saved Isolde from the sacrificed, but it would have taken at least two days to return. Teagan and the other villagers would have been at that demon's mercy, how many more would have died to save one life?" Alistair shook his head, defeated. " I-I know that. All this death...ah, I'm going to stop before I do more to make myself look like an idiot." He looked up, seemed about to say something, but just walked away.

Surana felt her heart deflate into tears. She dashed them away, the anger like a raw wound in her chest. Maybe after some rest she could forgive Alistair. Part of what he'd said was true after all. But she would not be forgiving herself. Not for the friend she had betrayed and in turn had betrayed. Not for using Jowan's blood magic after condemning him for dabbling in the forbidden art. Surana would not even forgive herself for just slightly relishing the irony of the Arlessa beg for a magic ritual while she had cursed it for tainting her family. Not for the rage she held against Isolde for avoiding her duty with a magi son and continuing to hide the truth while people died all around her for her misjudgment. No, Surana would not be forgiving herself any time soon. But concerning Isolde...she found regret all but completely absent.

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Short, but simple. Like I said it started as just a brief writing exercise, but after all the negativity I've seen concerning Isolde I thought why not share ^^ My first and favorite play through was with an elven mage and as much as I love Alistair, I was like OMG seriously? When we got back to camp. As a mage I thought there should be more of a conflicting element concerning the ritual and reactions so I let him have it. .

Review if you like! I'd appreciate any feedback :)


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